Eivind (like the Terrible) quoted Dinosaurs by Paul Heitsch
One year, when he and Lane were still in their twenties, they’d sent out a holiday form letter instead of cards. She’d been chronically irritated by all the long, tedious Christmas letters they got from her large extended family. It had become a tradition for her to read the worst passages aloud. In-depth accounts of children’s activities in sports, with details of the games. Blow-by-blow accounts of home redecorations. Three paragraphs on a great-aunt’s bunion operation, with before-and-after pictures. A list of the performances of a folk-dancing group in Appalachia. The résumé of a teen cousin who shone as brightly as the sun.Four elite colleges had embraced him, the letter said. And named each one. Also, the Young Republicans. They’d written their own form letter together. Over most of a bottle of wine for Lane and two cocktails for him.
Dear friends and family, it read. This year we did not get engaged. We acquired no pet, and we did not produce a child. We did not buy a car or house. We did not take the package deal. We did not join the club. We did not order the special. We never multiplied our miles. We had some arguments, that’s true. There was so much we did not see. We did not know. We did not understand. At times we drank heavily. Happy holidays to all! xoo, Lane and Gil.
The letter had not been well received.








